Tag Archives: Large Hadron Collider

Man travels from the future to prevent the Large Hadron Collider from destroying the world

CNET UK is reports: “Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.”  If you have been keeping up with the news lately, you should know that the scientists at CERN recently had the Large Hadron Collider successfully collide particles at record force.  Their aim is to smash together atoms, create mini-black holes, and attempt to discover what exactly happed during the birth of our univierse, the Big Bang.  Ever since its inception people are worried that the Switzerland-based LHC experiment might go awry and cause a huge black hole on Earth leading to instant worldwide death.  Time-traveller Cole was at one point captured by Swiss police and explained why he came to stop the LHC from continuing its work: “Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I’m here to stop it ever happening.”  According to the latest reports, “Mr. Cole was taken to a secure mental health facility in Geneva but later disappeared from his cell. Police are baffled, but not that bothered.”

[Via CNET UK]